Ed Gein - Murderer - Grave Robber - Necrophile - Cannibal - Mama's Boy

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you to one of the world's most fucked up individuals. The films which follow (especially the first part) were based on the life of serial killer, grave robber, all out wacked nut, Ed Gein. Born at the turn of this century, Ed grew up on a 120+ acre farm with his brother and his over-protective, bible thumping, nagging bitch of a mother. When Ed's brother died, his whole world became his mother. Being preached at about God's wrath, the horrible damnation of all sinners by his mother ever since he was a child, Ed became so dependant on his mother that when she died in 1945, he snapped. Big time!      After her funeral he dug her up, took her home, fed her, talked to her, cared for her. As if she was still alive. But Ed's disturbance didn't stop there. Being out in the middle of nowhere and subsidized by the government, Ed became somewhat of a recluse. While fellow neighbours were ignorant to his lifestyle, Ed would spend many nights reading the obituaries, looking for fresh burials. He would rob graves, take the bodies back to his farmhouse and use them for parts to make household items (not to mention necrophelia, icky!). Tables from bones, drums from skins, shrunken heads, he even made costumes out of the dead's skins and danced under the moon wearing them.      What makes Ed Gein a psycho of a different colour is that while this was going on he would occasionally visit local neighbours, do some handy work for townspeople, even babysit neighbours children. Ed wasn't really a brutal man, but he was so fucked up that he didn't know right from wrong. Without his mother dictating discipline at him, all of his actions were O.K. in his eyes. It wasn't until just before he was caught that he committed actual murder. When they finally got to Ed's farmhouse they found a local clerk trussed up and gutted like a dear. Inside were the remains of over 100 bodies, including a box filled with noses, another box filled with vaginas, breasts nailed to the wall, and other vile creations you couldn't possibly comprehend. Ed Gein, The Godfather of Psychopaths.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre     In 1974, Director Tobe Hooper made a film that shocked audiences around the nation with it's savagely realistic depiction of an afternoon getaway that goes bad.      The film was projected as a true story which gives The Texas Chainsaw Massacre a very horrifying touch. On August 17, 1974 Sally Hardesty, her invalid brother Franklin and their friends took a rode into Texas. What seemed a good idea turns into a nightmare as they fall prey to a family of cannibals. When delve into the madness of a family gone insane. Uncaring, hungry people who hunt anyone unfortunate enough to come across their hidden property. One of them wears a mask made from human flesh and comes after you with a chainsaw. It's the infamous Leatherface (played by Gunnar Hansen). One by one we get to watch as the friends become victim to the buzzing saw. The scenes are unemotionally shot so the brutallity is enhanced. Some would call this flick exploitive. One girl gets meat hooked alive and gets to watch as one of her friends gets sliced into cold cuts.      Sally Hardesty finds herself alone in the clutches of the flesh wearing madman. Will she survive or face the rotating chain? If you haven't seen this cult classic, you're definately in for a treat. By the end of the film, the buzz of the saw will make you, at the very least, a bit uneasy. Watch a clip from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in Real PLayer format by clicking here

The The Texas Chainsaw Massacre II      It took a decade but there it was. A sequel. Suddenly, when I was eight years old, I chanced upon a late night advertisement for this movie. The new Leatherface seemed to plague my dreams for a spell. But this was before I appreciated the terror.      Ten years have passed by. After heavy investigation, the murderous cannibalistic family are still at large. Hidden. Dennis Hopper plays Dusty, a vengeful relative of Sally and Franklin. The only one still working on finding this murderous family.      A couple of rich punks are making their way through Texas, boozin' it up and shootin' signs on the highway, real carefree shitheads. Then they fuck with the wrong pickup truck. It catches up with them hours later, at night. I won't spoil the scene but if you watch this film make sure it's uncut or else you won't get a chance to check out Tom Savini's wicked gore FX.      Before their demise they call a radio station with their car phone. Their deaths are recorded at the station and the D.J. (some chick called 'Stretch') ends up finding Dusty. Meanwhile, we're introduced to the family once again. There's a brother that's completely screwed up, the father who's the town's chili cookoff winner ("It's all in the meat!!!"), Leatherface, Grandpa an some other corpse they like to drag around with them. After Leatherface and his brother kidnap Stretch from the radio station, Dusty uses her as bait, follows them and infiltrates their secret pit/home. It's here that the climax begins. You get a tour through the family's nightmarish abode. Non-stop gore. Can Dusty find Stretch and kill the cannibals? He will have to get through the man with the saw. Prepare for a brutal ending to this one. Hard core horror fans should love it.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III: Leatherface      This sequel is a favourite of mine. We are introduced to a new find in Texas. A body pit with over a hundred bodies. And guess who's up to no good. It's the family. The Saw is Family!! A young couple are making their way from Los Angeles to Florida, delievering a car that belongs to the girl's father. When they stop at a 'Last Chance' gas bar they stumble into a weird clerk and a coyboy who just wants to get home. From here they are submerged into a nightmare.      Having to flee from the gas station's owner waving a shotgun around, they take off down a lone stretch of highway. Along the way they blow a tire and meet up with the flesh wearing., saw swinging fat guy.      After another narrow escape these two end up running Benny (played by Dawn of the Dead's Ken Foree) off the road, crippling their vehicle as well. Now their on foot, lost and in the mine field of some seriously bizarre cannibals. Along the ride we get to meet a whole new family. The head being Momma, brother Tank, brother Tex, a little girl (Leatherface's daughter??) and of course, Grandpa. Grandpa isn't doing too well though. He's a on a strick blood diet.      We get to meet old victims who have gotten away, to tell the tale and prepare Benny for his journey to thier unholy abode. He has to rescue the couple who are caught by Leatherface and taken back for next weeks dinner. A good horror flick!! for a sequel.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre IV: The Next Generation      Now I usually don't have a lot of bad things to say about a horror film. But the bizarre meets the bizarre in this film. We are introduced to yet another family. This time Leatherface is a cross dresser. I suppose a fat lady coming after me with a buzzing chainsaw would freak me out....a bit. But not that it matters, because NOBODY DIES BY THE SAW!!! How can you have a Texas Chainsaw MASSACRE if nobody dies by the saw! In this movie we have Rene Zellweger, seemingly coherent and sane, kinda business-like. She's in kahootz with the freaky cannibals. But it doesn't stop there.      Before the victims of the film are dispatched an S&M junkie arrives at the family's hideout in a limo. As soon as he enters the joint, everyone (even Leatherchick) cowers before this man. It's seems the family is being controlled by some branch of Fucked up Government. You gotta love beaurocracy. He takes the would be victims with him and leaves the family to clean up. I wouldn't recommend this film to anyone really. It's a painful reminder that this series is losing tact in a big way. I'm hoping that the up and coming (albeit rumoured) Texas Chainsaw Massacre V: TX25 makes a better attempt. If I can shed light on one part of this film, it's when one unfortunate person gets run over by a tow truck....over and over and over again. Kinda sadistic, and I like that in a movie.